if i ask do you know what club that i join in my high school. i think i'm sure you'll say cheerleading and kelab kebudayaan. yea! that's the only club that i active in. for me, kelab kebudayaan is a super awesome club for me, actually cheerleading is the same too! but i got something to say about it( think it yourself). firstly, do you know how much time, how much energy, how much effort i had pay for it. i joined it since form 1. i work hard just to know more about it, get it to the squad for competition and lots. i cancel all my outing, being scold by parents, and a lot of thing i have to give up just because of it. and now, i just out from the club for one year, and everyone can just forget you. they'll always remember you whenever they need your help. but before they return things from you, they will still forget you. no matter how good you wanna them to return to you, they'll use more than two months to return things from you. sometimes my seniors always ask me why i didn't attend this attend that. problem is it don't even know about it, yeah! i'm the only one who don't know about it. i just realize that why the one who give out the most afford always forget by others but others which had out from it for more that two years can being remember by others?

"Hey! are you gonna come back on this coming saturday for the Reunion? :)"

i saw this in facebook in everyone's wall except me. my heart was totally sank. and now, i just wanna you guys being honest to me. Isn't it everyone that i meet hate me lots? and the reason. just answer me this question, and be honest to me. THAT'S ALL.

*close eye. until the moment my breath is stop, i also remember how hurts is it."

hey peep, thanks for your message, i guess i know what to do now. so now, i m trying to leave it and delete some of them in my mind. and now

1111111111111111111

22222222222222222222

33333333333333333333333

deleting :D

i'll cheer up myself. smile

first day of working, do you know how cute are primary kids? i can say that they're extremely cute. their face are chubby, the way they talk are cute. looking at them doing art work, it recall me when i m a primary student. the same place, same teacher teaching me how to do art work, i am the one sitting there listen what teacher says, but today onwards they are the one sitting on the place that i sat before listening what i say. when i see the, suffering from doing correction and memorizing something, it makes me remember about how i try to finish all my work in the time but i still fail to do so. a girl told me " teacher, i lost my shoes", at first i feel funny, but suddenly i remember that i did the same thing too. "lin lao shi, lin lao shi, lin lao shi" keep appear around my head, i nearly laugh when i heard it. i found that it really sounds funny.

bla bla bla. whatever. lastly, i got maggie mee goreng and green tea starbucks from my babe as dinner. owh! how cool is him standing there waiting his girl finish working :D

i'm going to be crazy soon. messages are always the only things that can recall all my memories. i don't know do you guys know that i really care for my ex. even now, he's still important in my heart and my boy knows about it too. i know that actually he minds, but he didn't even stopped for letting my ex being important in my heart. now, due to my brother stupid reason i have to give my mum my phone which full of my sweet memories about my ex and my boy. i can't imagine what if my mum really see them. i think she's going to kill me :/ so what i can do? delete all the messages? NO! i won't. i rather kill myself, i also won't delete them. i can't express how both of them are important in my life. i nearly crazy for them. i really touch when i discuss it with my boy just now. he said that he'll try resend all the message which he sent before to me, but he still trying hard to help me keep my ex message. BABE, it's really touch for you to do so to me. i know that what i did now might hurt you, so i going to say sorry. i really wish that all the message will just keep in my phone and i won't touch them, but atleast sometimes i can see them when i'm bored to recall all my memories. heart

ps: someone you have to be careful with your attitude. if one day, you really make me crazy and my tears wet up my pillows, i'll just going to stop you with the girl. and all things about her and sim card thingy going to know by mum. i'm not going to be good ANYMORE!

words for JWINES

i don't care anything in your mind. yea! for you guys, it sounds hurt. and now i going to say sorry to you if i did hurt you. but i don't care! i still wanna to say all things out, i can't imagine what's going on after this. but i know that, honest is just the one and only solution. do you remember how everyday we spend our night? it's TEXTING. we used to gossip, chatting about hot guys, what we have to pack for camp or trip, what books we have to bring on the next day, our relationship problems,what we doing on the spot and even our past by using texting. and it become one of my habit. but now,i didn't even manage to receive any message from you. no matter how my phone rings, my phone will never appear your names. as time pass, the message getting lesser and lesser and lastly disappear. at first, i am not use to it, but i have to forced myself to accept it. now, i manage to handle it

slowly i don't even have the dare to on your facebook profile. even sometimes, i don't even dare to STOP myself at the HOME page. all these most recent status making me emo. it's because i don't even know what the hell are you talking about. gossip, outing, crapping, spamming are disappear. i was stun whenever the new status in your profile. i forced myself to know everything from you, but i FAIL. i can't even update any news from you guys. for you, it's sounds like my fault, but do you think before if you am i, what's your feeling. keep saying that we are grown up, but do we really grow up, being mature, care for someone, think everything well for others for now and even future? yea! maybe now we keep blaming each other, but we're leaving each soon, i mean that we're not going to study at the same place anymore and what we meet will no longer the same. maybe someday you will just realize the world are different from our high school life. it can be even more complicated. yea! i wish we really have to wake up as soon as possible, so we can't still share our time together in the future. TAK CARE.

we really have a talk. but i can't really face to face to have it with you guys. i believe that i can't control my emotional at all. it's really sweet about our memories, the moment we laugh, we sampat, we cry for each others and lots. but too bad, i accidentally know that the LOVE that i treat them truly kena say i sympathy. OMG! i even cry badly when i know about it. my world was like fall. i nearly being crazy when i know that. i don't even have to mood to exam at all. i knows it during my SPM. i just crying badly on the spot. i really treat you guy with a true heart, you what? i hurt badly when i was form 2. i didn't really have a true friend beside Bernice. until form 4, i meet JWINES. i believe that you guys are one of the important in my life. now i going to be hurt again? NO, i don't want. JWINES is the ever crazy group that i had ever meet.

*my mind is blank now*

to be continue

story starts from N years ago,i meet him at reading corner, that time i was with one of my friend. suddenly he joined us, and that time he was upset because a GIRL. i don't even know what are they talking about so i just zipped up my mouth and shut up. both of them were keep talking about HER and i continued with my homework.my friend wants me to join them, so i simply crap when they're talking.at that moment like going back home, text with my boy.in my mind, i just know that i don't even wants to knows him. i just care about my boy and i miss my boy.that's all.

after few weeks ago, i got a text from him. and yea! that time i was not in a good mood because there're some problems happen me and my friends even my boy. and he's the one who being my side to cheer me up. at first, i was like wth with his guy. but as times pass longer, i realize that what he says are meaningful, and we getting closer and closer.one day, i had an argument with my boy because of him. my boy had a misunderstanding between me and him, and i cried badly, he just believe whatever his friend told him, but what his friend told him wasn't a truth.so start from that day, i had made up my mind. i decided to ignore him. finally i did it.

do you guys believe in fate? no matter how hard i try ignore him, one day i still manage to talk to him. i did try to ignore him for few months and we didn't talk at all but one day suddenly i meet him at staircase. that time i accompany my friend to find her boyfriend in early morning, and he did the same thing too. who knows, both of them are couple. both of them spending their time early morning at the highest floor. while both of us waiting them at the staircase. as time pass, we start to talk again."tik tok" "tik tok" "tik tok" i don't know how many hours, how many days, how many months had pass. one day, he confess to me, but i rejected. because i love my boy.

first time, second time, third time... i don't even remember how many times he did confess to me. i just know that whenever he confess to me, and i just reject him. for a guy, if you confess to a girl for such a long time but she rejected you, will you still wait for me? i think mostly NO. but he, still always be the one be at my side support me whenever i need, whenever i had problem. when i had problem although it's about my boy or people who i fall for or friends, i'll just find him for a chat. and i didn't even fail to receive any message from him.

there're always argument, misunderstanding between us. i'll post whatever problem that we had faced soon. now finally 700 plus days had over. the day he confess to me, what he had did for me on that day, i really appreciate. lastly, he shouted loudly when he get me.he's now officially my boy . thanks babe♥

words for JWINES

words for JWINES (part1)

谁人还记得JWINES的由来？

请问当初的那份热情以及那股真诚已到何处去了

渐渐地，这名字也开始消失了

也许对你们而言，这还存在

但你们是否发现一切都不再像以前一样了

相信有的都知道我有话要说

是否好奇为何至今仍然未说呢？

坦白说，其实我是有话说不出口

发现，如再不说再不解决一切将变化

我也不想抱着遗憾或误会开始新的一年

首先，请问对你们而言什么是朋友，什么是姐妹？

一年一年地过着，我们之间的问题也越来越大

渐渐发现，我已不能在融入

性格是自己的，我也不方便多说

但我希望你们知道，请珍惜眼前的，别把一切当成理所当然

并为所有人都一样能接受

忍 也是由分界线的 一旦不知不觉中过线了

突如其来的暴风雪将会发生

坦白说，这次的旅行，我一点儿都不开心

你们把我当成什么了。是刚认识的朋友吗？

自己玩自己的 而我却只跟了信原

那是时候请问 这旅行的目的

不告诉我 是为了给我时间与他相处

那你们真的很不了解我 拜托他帮我举办

是为你和你们多点回忆 而并为不开心

可惜，当我回家后打开行李 发现“不开心”被带回来了

我也曾告诉你们 我不喜欢因为一个“他” 把你们扔下

当天发生什么 结果我是被逼跟他的

并不是说跟他是委屈了我 而只是不喜欢为了一个人扔下朋友

打球 游戏 我不懂 而我一直却在房里睡觉

我不知道。不想去问了，如果我问了，我们也许会打仗了

我横不得赶快回家，顿时与你们相处，压力也越来越大

鼻涕 眼泪 一大把

如果姐妹是这么做 那就当我笨 对这一窍不通

to be continue

THAT'S MY STORIES IN A YEAR

honestly, i don't even know how to start my stories one by one. so i'll just write whatever thing in my mind right now. so yea, the first thing i could say is my ex. although i had broke up with him for around two years, during all these time, i thought i've forgotten everything about him. but all the stories keep appear in my mind. and i always thought that there's a chance for me to be back with him. finally i realize that i m the one who always think too much. whenever i on facebook, the forst thing i'll do is check him profile cause i wish to know what things in his mind, and i care about it. sometimes i feel him, but lastly he told me he fall for another girl. i could says that everything are complicated. i can't even explain. there're another stupid thing that i did for him. if you're my dears, i'm sure that you knows i don't even like sport at all. but just because of him, trying to just look at him or talk to him, i forced myself to join the same club for him, forced myself to love that sport. lastly, only i realize that what i did are useless, he don't even care me at all, he cares for his "someone" i think. i think i am seriously a dumb ass. i'm not trying to blame you or what, but i'm sure without him, i won't like studies and being mature at all. i'm glad that i could nearly spend my high school life with you. PS: i could say i m still care about what you think about me. i know i m stupid, but i don't know why. maybe i used to it.

next, it'll be another stories with a guy. he's a cute guy that i had meet. there's some sweet memories that happen between me and him. and we nearly together. but somehow he keep giving some reason. so sometimes in my mind, i just wanna to say that, if you don't love someone, please don't give he/she a hope. you'll hurt him/her badly. that's exactly what i feel when he told me all those reasons. owh! there's one time you text me asked m i angry you, and i told you "NOPE" right? now, it's the time for me to be honest with ya. actually, i am a bit mad about you but what i can do, i can just to accept it. at that moment my heart was like *OUCH* , it's hurt. since that time, i didn't really trust "love". it's a hard game for me, and i think i can't stand with it. sorry guy. and the card that you made for me, it's like a important in my life. but i really don't know for you what does it means la. but i hope you appreciate it. PS: tak care, atleast you're still important for me and we have the chance to be together and the timing is incorrect, so we miss it . maybe you'll just forget me one day, but i won't just forget you easily.

3rd, don't care what previous thing had happen. what i can say now is i got my boy. FINALLY! that's what i keep hear from other to me and also him. do you guys tried to get someone for 700plus days? seldom happen right. yea! my boy is the one there for me. in my memories, we always having argument, misunderstanding, or even sometimes i hate him. don't care what ever thing i did to him, he didn't even try to leave me alone. i even angry with without reason, he'll still be the one who try to cheer me up. there's seiously a long stories between me and my boy. sometimes i really feel guilty that what i had did to you, and even the ways i treat you now. for you guys, if one day your girlfriend treat you so, what will you going to do to her? owh! one more thing. i rejected him for thousand times, he still care and take care me lots. hmm! i'll try to post more about my boy. actually there's a video that he did for me, that's all our stories inside the video. heart. PS: thanks babe! love ya lots

besides all these relationship problem, there's problems happen in my friendship too. i can't explain what had happen. but i have words for them. please wait for it patiently

A NEW STARTING

i thought my blog is dead

but who knows? today i going to start blogging again

my blog is dead for around half year

and i didn't really go and update it

and now, i going to starts my stories here again

i just finished reading my previous post,

and suddenly the previous feeling comes back to me

i remember what had happen during all these year

how i fall for a guy, how i miss a guy, how crazy m i for a guy?

and now i could say

EVERYTHING IS PAST

now, i got my new life.

i going to start my stories one by one soon