你对我说，这并非什么贵重的礼物

当时，其实我想告诉你

贵不贵重对我而言 并不算什么

那份心意 我已收到了

谢咯！:)

坏人不好做

好人不易做

那 我该做什么？

难道友情里 真心的 是那么的寥寥无几吗？

想必　你我都是在生活中不能让人知道的秘密
躲躲藏藏　是种情趣
但　渐渐地　它只成了一种让人想多的压力

爱情是盲目的　即使是知道事情的真相我们依然催眠自己
它　让人冲昏了头脑，失去理智
也许我们之间充的冲动　无意让它发生
甜美回忆，温暖的拥抱　瞬间成了尴尬的问候，开不了口的话　以及冷漠的对待
想必　我只是那不起眼的小家伙
但　我只期待你发现我的存在　而对我多些关心
其实我已被打入冷宫　我坚持　等待奇迹到临的那一刻
担心太多是无益　但糊涂的决定出现了

那个人并不爱你，你为她做了多少事情让她感动，你必须知道“感动”并不是爱

Remember the guy I used to love so much, so deeply? Although it took me so long to realize how big an asshole he is, the time is worth it. Because I no longer have to see him flirting with other girls in front of me, praising them, or perhaps dating them while with me. And come back to tell me I'm his lowest priority. Love was so blind for me, who fed me those alcohol?

i found this from elaine's all. i hope she will be fine. *cheerrrs*

by the way, i just found that what she wrote is true and meaningful.

yea! LOVE IS BLIND

时间 滴答滴答地溜着

它 过得比我们想象中还快

但我们 并没察觉到

当初的我们 盼望着自己长大的那一天

如今 我们却站在这回想当初

矛盾的人们 根本还对自己摸不找

可是 也许现在 我们都发现到自己不像以前一样

不再听别人的命令 而是有了自己的意见

不知道为什么

就突然间 心好疼

相识容易 相处难
不同人拥有不同相处的方法
我们个个来自不同背景 不同地方
不能希望每个人与自己一样
礼让 是基本需要
时间渐渐地过去了 人的性格也渐渐浮现
这才发现 这并不是我认识的
相处 原来比我想象中的困难
它 须要一门诀窍
否则 人会彻底地看不起你
也许 我还不是时候去掌握这门诀窍

勉强的笑容　永远是最累的
刻意留下好印象是因为我在乎
我荣幸　没伪装自己
就算压力烦恼在眼前　笑容依然挂在脸上
我相信　凡事笑一笑　没什么大不了。

发现　我并非你喜欢的那类型
但　我能怎么样
我只是我自己　虽然曾尝试努力改造
但　良心过意不去
选择　放弃
如今　我只希望不被淘汰　不被抛弃

也许 是我有点不开心
我根本没力气打起精神来
:(

请别问我前一个是什么
我不想提起
这是我不想提起的烦人东西
我一点都不稀罕！

你有你的生活

Show encrypted text

hint: the password that we have before

许愿 祈祷 希望你在我身旁

每当我需要你的时候

请借一借我你的肩膀靠一靠

我只想向你撒娇 让你疼一疼

从那拥抱当中 第一次感觉到你

我不舍得放手

请别再次对我不理不睬

我不喜欢离别的伤痛

我想要让你知道

“ 我爱你！”

如果 真心对我的话

请你以真诚证明 让我知道

<3

泪水随着音乐 渐渐流下

曾告诉自己 痛苦远离了 快乐在不远处等着

回问自己 到底现在是否开心？

我回答不出

人并没有什么特能 可以看穿人心

不断地想着 对人一点好处都没有

不知道 对你而言我算什么

还曾怀疑 你对我到底有没有动心？

我介意 我在乎 我关心

并非什么怀疑 或不信任

而是你比我思想中还重要

还要更爱你

现在 到底我们处于在什么状态当中

我不希望 拖拖拉拉让事情搞砸了

真诚的友情 得来不易

它并不会说来就来 说去就去

而是要我们细心的保护

此时此刻，我才真正了解

那天 跟宝贝们说着说着

眼泪竟在眼眶打转

那种贴心 那种温柔 再也找不到了

他们已是我的家人

如果你不爱我 能告诉我一声吗？

*我爱你！*

爱你，那又怎么样？

seriously i got tired of it D:

it shows that we're not suit to be together?

原来要你的陪伴是那么的痛苦

其实 有时并非刻意那么的迟睡

而 只希望得到你少少的陪伴

但为何 为何次次都得到这样的下场

我不甘心 更不知道

对你来说 我是什么？

难道爱上你 都有错吗？

为什么我要爱上你。

爱上你 有那么的痛苦吗？

D:

i'm studying about psychology while my brother is watching movie that related with psychology beside me. roarrrrrr!

different people different life :( ahhahhahah

对不起。我只是对自己没信心罢了

what's wrong with fall with people

i feel stupid to fall for a person

hard get someone when you need them

the feelings, i couldn't describe

i'm trying myself to accept everything

but yet, sometimes i feel uncomfortable

i dont care, i fall for you, so i try to accept

alamak! i dont know how to express it

*update after finalssssss*

the reason for me to have a blog is because i wanna to update everything and note down everything in my life. but since N months before, i didnt really update my blog. what's in my blog are just those nonsense that not related what's in my life. :) i know, due to some reason, i dislike to update it.

my semester going to end soon. i think i m not going to update everything in my semester here. but what? i enjoy :) stories, i think i should be update it during my holidays, now actually i m preparing for my finalssss. but my mood wasn't in study. hmphhhhhhhh

by the way, what's wrong with me? my mood was down.

射手

关键词：
我看(I see)

你、射手
拿着你的箭准备射向真理?
准备射向自由?
两眼一摸黑
却不小心射伤了爱你的人
甚至射伤了自己……

障碍：
看不到的恐慌

请冥想出一副画面
一个半人马的骑士手持弓箭
被一块布蒙住了双眼

他有力量
因为他是马
有耐力和强壮的大腿
他可以跑的很快
他有智慧
因为他有人的头脑
他有工具
一把很有用的箭

但是这一切发生了一个转折
他的眼睛被蒙蔽了
他跑偏离方向还摔跤
他很紧张
手足无措地乱射箭
因为他好害怕好害怕……
只有这样他才稍稍觉得安全

射手通常自己蒙上眼睛
这样他就不用去看到目标
也不用在意周围的景色和人
这样他们就可以安全的活在自己的世界里
但是真的可以安全了么?
换来的就只是无尽的恐惧
他们会很担心
然后想要逃离

你爱他
想要抚摸他
他看不到
却以为是攻击
于是踢你一大脚
然后才发现搞错了

他们依赖爱人
因为他们要依赖别人的眼睛去走路
可当你告诉他的时候
他却又不能相信
因为他并没有自己亲眼看到

原因：
一个射手的孩子
似乎很早就开始思考起人生
他们喜欢观察
他们也深入思考
但奇怪的是
越观察越迷惘
越思考越困惑

射手男在爱情方面有很坏的名声
射手女往往被大家说成是“傻大姐”式的人物
但是请注意了
在他们毫不在意的外表下
却隐藏着深深的创伤

他们对恋人的黏着欲望绝对不亚于金牛
他们就是小孩子
期待着保护也期待着成长

其实射手座是一个十分克己的星座
因为他们半人半马的特性
使得很多射手压抑了下半身的渴望
所以我们经常会看到举步不前的射手座
他们压抑了自己动物性的一面
也同时压抑住了自己的力量源泉

射手恐惧那原始的力量
他不知道如果他照着自己的目标去奔跑
是不是会引来太多的敌人?
会不会失去太多的伙伴?

解决：
射手座不势利
即使他们想要获得金钱
也并不是因为金钱本身
他们想要的是那个高处的感觉
那个山顶的视野

不过他们并不知道
蒙蔽他们的并不是一个低处
并不是因为他们在山底
而是因为他们蒙蔽了自己的眼睛

不过请不要指责他们
在小的时候我们都是无助的
我们没有能力选择社会道德
也没有能力选择家庭
其实就算可以选择
父母们受到的教育也是压抑性的
小孩子哪懂什么性?
他们只是对自己的身体感兴趣罢了

但这个不幸一直都在发生
这个禁忌取缔了射手座的力量
他们相信头脑远胜过本能
而在某些压抑过渡的情况下
本能的力量在他们头脑没有足够防备的时候
便将他们多年的控制击败

深呼吸
当你和你爱的人在一起
深呼吸、共同呼吸
去感觉那个身体
那个深埋的爱的情感

触摸、爱抚
情侣间的按摩
都对射手具有疗愈的作用
慢慢地……
当他可以活在自己的身体里
那个“看”就会出现
他睁开眼睛
不再有恐惧

i love this post

why i care?

people, i am lost!

tears are disturbing me

from the call

mind changed

try as soon as possible

people,i'm suffer. i can't tell out everything.this time, i think i'll regret badly with my decision. sohow?istillhavetostaystrong

ionic bonds or covalent bonds? nope, it's FRIENDSHIP bonds

they're important in my life, without them,

Jace that you meet will never appear in front of you.

for everyone, they think that i'm strong, sad face will seldom appear

that's what i had learn from my babes!

closing the light around me, looking at the laptop screen,

i remember something about our past.

light off, movie screen on, maggie mee with us. that's what we always did when we sleep over.

chocolate in room will never never happen again if i'm alone

songs that we sing during wash plate and toilet are slowly disappear from my mind

the sounds, the voices are getting softer and softer,

until i can't really recognize.

when's the last photo of us? the sampat, the smile?

they're not with me and my heart is with you guys.

sun, rainbow, star and moon

they occur because of gossip. but how long didn't for us to do so.

and i remember laughing is our medicine

no matter how tired are we, after laughing everything change fine

tic toc, tic toc, tic toc, tic toc. . .

i had leaving from you guys for 3 years i think.

during all these years, i meet others too

until the last, we're still being bond together, can't even separate

dears! we need to sleep over again. sharing secret.

there's something that i haven told you guys

honestly, i didn't even dare to share out. i feel sucks with myself

only with you guys, the real me will never hide away.

TALK. we need to wait for the day to come

♥

if i ask do you know what club that i join in my high school. i think i'm sure you'll say cheerleading and kelab kebudayaan. yea! that's the only club that i active in. for me, kelab kebudayaan is a super awesome club for me, actually cheerleading is the same too! but i got something to say about it( think it yourself). firstly, do you know how much time, how much energy, how much effort i had pay for it. i joined it since form 1. i work hard just to know more about it, get it to the squad for competition and lots. i cancel all my outing, being scold by parents, and a lot of thing i have to give up just because of it. and now, i just out from the club for one year, and everyone can just forget you. they'll always remember you whenever they need your help. but before they return things from you, they will still forget you. no matter how good you wanna them to return to you, they'll use more than two months to return things from you. sometimes my seniors always ask me why i didn't attend this attend that. problem is it don't even know about it, yeah! i'm the only one who don't know about it. i just realize that why the one who give out the most afford always forget by others but others which had out from it for more that two years can being remember by others?

"Hey! are you gonna come back on this coming saturday for the Reunion? :)"

i saw this in facebook in everyone's wall except me. my heart was totally sank. and now, i just wanna you guys being honest to me. Isn't it everyone that i meet hate me lots? and the reason. just answer me this question, and be honest to me. THAT'S ALL.

*close eye. until the moment my breath is stop, i also remember how hurts is it."

hey peep, thanks for your message, i guess i know what to do now. so now, i m trying to leave it and delete some of them in my mind. and now

1111111111111111111

22222222222222222222

33333333333333333333333

deleting :D

i'll cheer up myself. smile

first day of working, do you know how cute are primary kids? i can say that they're extremely cute. their face are chubby, the way they talk are cute. looking at them doing art work, it recall me when i m a primary student. the same place, same teacher teaching me how to do art work, i am the one sitting there listen what teacher says, but today onwards they are the one sitting on the place that i sat before listening what i say. when i see the, suffering from doing correction and memorizing something, it makes me remember about how i try to finish all my work in the time but i still fail to do so. a girl told me " teacher, i lost my shoes", at first i feel funny, but suddenly i remember that i did the same thing too. "lin lao shi, lin lao shi, lin lao shi" keep appear around my head, i nearly laugh when i heard it. i found that it really sounds funny.

bla bla bla. whatever. lastly, i got maggie mee goreng and green tea starbucks from my babe as dinner. owh! how cool is him standing there waiting his girl finish working :D

i'm going to be crazy soon. messages are always the only things that can recall all my memories. i don't know do you guys know that i really care for my ex. even now, he's still important in my heart and my boy knows about it too. i know that actually he minds, but he didn't even stopped for letting my ex being important in my heart. now, due to my brother stupid reason i have to give my mum my phone which full of my sweet memories about my ex and my boy. i can't imagine what if my mum really see them. i think she's going to kill me :/ so what i can do? delete all the messages? NO! i won't. i rather kill myself, i also won't delete them. i can't express how both of them are important in my life. i nearly crazy for them. i really touch when i discuss it with my boy just now. he said that he'll try resend all the message which he sent before to me, but he still trying hard to help me keep my ex message. BABE, it's really touch for you to do so to me. i know that what i did now might hurt you, so i going to say sorry. i really wish that all the message will just keep in my phone and i won't touch them, but atleast sometimes i can see them when i'm bored to recall all my memories. heart

ps: someone you have to be careful with your attitude. if one day, you really make me crazy and my tears wet up my pillows, i'll just going to stop you with the girl. and all things about her and sim card thingy going to know by mum. i'm not going to be good ANYMORE!

words for JWINES

i don't care anything in your mind. yea! for you guys, it sounds hurt. and now i going to say sorry to you if i did hurt you. but i don't care! i still wanna to say all things out, i can't imagine what's going on after this. but i know that, honest is just the one and only solution. do you remember how everyday we spend our night? it's TEXTING. we used to gossip, chatting about hot guys, what we have to pack for camp or trip, what books we have to bring on the next day, our relationship problems,what we doing on the spot and even our past by using texting. and it become one of my habit. but now,i didn't even manage to receive any message from you. no matter how my phone rings, my phone will never appear your names. as time pass, the message getting lesser and lesser and lastly disappear. at first, i am not use to it, but i have to forced myself to accept it. now, i manage to handle it

slowly i don't even have the dare to on your facebook profile. even sometimes, i don't even dare to STOP myself at the HOME page. all these most recent status making me emo. it's because i don't even know what the hell are you talking about. gossip, outing, crapping, spamming are disappear. i was stun whenever the new status in your profile. i forced myself to know everything from you, but i FAIL. i can't even update any news from you guys. for you, it's sounds like my fault, but do you think before if you am i, what's your feeling. keep saying that we are grown up, but do we really grow up, being mature, care for someone, think everything well for others for now and even future? yea! maybe now we keep blaming each other, but we're leaving each soon, i mean that we're not going to study at the same place anymore and what we meet will no longer the same. maybe someday you will just realize the world are different from our high school life. it can be even more complicated. yea! i wish we really have to wake up as soon as possible, so we can't still share our time together in the future. TAK CARE.

we really have a talk. but i can't really face to face to have it with you guys. i believe that i can't control my emotional at all. it's really sweet about our memories, the moment we laugh, we sampat, we cry for each others and lots. but too bad, i accidentally know that the LOVE that i treat them truly kena say i sympathy. OMG! i even cry badly when i know about it. my world was like fall. i nearly being crazy when i know that. i don't even have to mood to exam at all. i knows it during my SPM. i just crying badly on the spot. i really treat you guy with a true heart, you what? i hurt badly when i was form 2. i didn't really have a true friend beside Bernice. until form 4, i meet JWINES. i believe that you guys are one of the important in my life. now i going to be hurt again? NO, i don't want. JWINES is the ever crazy group that i had ever meet.

*my mind is blank now*

to be continue

story starts from N years ago,i meet him at reading corner, that time i was with one of my friend. suddenly he joined us, and that time he was upset because a GIRL. i don't even know what are they talking about so i just zipped up my mouth and shut up. both of them were keep talking about HER and i continued with my homework.my friend wants me to join them, so i simply crap when they're talking.at that moment like going back home, text with my boy.in my mind, i just know that i don't even wants to knows him. i just care about my boy and i miss my boy.that's all.

after few weeks ago, i got a text from him. and yea! that time i was not in a good mood because there're some problems happen me and my friends even my boy. and he's the one who being my side to cheer me up. at first, i was like wth with his guy. but as times pass longer, i realize that what he says are meaningful, and we getting closer and closer.one day, i had an argument with my boy because of him. my boy had a misunderstanding between me and him, and i cried badly, he just believe whatever his friend told him, but what his friend told him wasn't a truth.so start from that day, i had made up my mind. i decided to ignore him. finally i did it.

do you guys believe in fate? no matter how hard i try ignore him, one day i still manage to talk to him. i did try to ignore him for few months and we didn't talk at all but one day suddenly i meet him at staircase. that time i accompany my friend to find her boyfriend in early morning, and he did the same thing too. who knows, both of them are couple. both of them spending their time early morning at the highest floor. while both of us waiting them at the staircase. as time pass, we start to talk again."tik tok" "tik tok" "tik tok" i don't know how many hours, how many days, how many months had pass. one day, he confess to me, but i rejected. because i love my boy.

first time, second time, third time... i don't even remember how many times he did confess to me. i just know that whenever he confess to me, and i just reject him. for a guy, if you confess to a girl for such a long time but she rejected you, will you still wait for me? i think mostly NO. but he, still always be the one be at my side support me whenever i need, whenever i had problem. when i had problem although it's about my boy or people who i fall for or friends, i'll just find him for a chat. and i didn't even fail to receive any message from him.

there're always argument, misunderstanding between us. i'll post whatever problem that we had faced soon. now finally 700 plus days had over. the day he confess to me, what he had did for me on that day, i really appreciate. lastly, he shouted loudly when he get me.he's now officially my boy . thanks babe♥

words for JWINES

words for JWINES (part1)

谁人还记得JWINES的由来？

请问当初的那份热情以及那股真诚已到何处去了

渐渐地，这名字也开始消失了

也许对你们而言，这还存在

但你们是否发现一切都不再像以前一样了

相信有的都知道我有话要说

是否好奇为何至今仍然未说呢？

坦白说，其实我是有话说不出口

发现，如再不说再不解决一切将变化

我也不想抱着遗憾或误会开始新的一年

首先，请问对你们而言什么是朋友，什么是姐妹？

一年一年地过着，我们之间的问题也越来越大

渐渐发现，我已不能在融入

性格是自己的，我也不方便多说

但我希望你们知道，请珍惜眼前的，别把一切当成理所当然

并为所有人都一样能接受

忍 也是由分界线的 一旦不知不觉中过线了

突如其来的暴风雪将会发生

坦白说，这次的旅行，我一点儿都不开心

你们把我当成什么了。是刚认识的朋友吗？

自己玩自己的 而我却只跟了信原

那是时候请问 这旅行的目的

不告诉我 是为了给我时间与他相处

那你们真的很不了解我 拜托他帮我举办

是为你和你们多点回忆 而并为不开心

可惜，当我回家后打开行李 发现“不开心”被带回来了

我也曾告诉你们 我不喜欢因为一个“他” 把你们扔下

当天发生什么 结果我是被逼跟他的

并不是说跟他是委屈了我 而只是不喜欢为了一个人扔下朋友

打球 游戏 我不懂 而我一直却在房里睡觉

我不知道。不想去问了，如果我问了，我们也许会打仗了

我横不得赶快回家，顿时与你们相处，压力也越来越大

鼻涕 眼泪 一大把

如果姐妹是这么做 那就当我笨 对这一窍不通

to be continue

THAT'S MY STORIES IN A YEAR

honestly, i don't even know how to start my stories one by one. so i'll just write whatever thing in my mind right now. so yea, the first thing i could say is my ex. although i had broke up with him for around two years, during all these time, i thought i've forgotten everything about him. but all the stories keep appear in my mind. and i always thought that there's a chance for me to be back with him. finally i realize that i m the one who always think too much. whenever i on facebook, the forst thing i'll do is check him profile cause i wish to know what things in his mind, and i care about it. sometimes i feel him, but lastly he told me he fall for another girl. i could says that everything are complicated. i can't even explain. there're another stupid thing that i did for him. if you're my dears, i'm sure that you knows i don't even like sport at all. but just because of him, trying to just look at him or talk to him, i forced myself to join the same club for him, forced myself to love that sport. lastly, only i realize that what i did are useless, he don't even care me at all, he cares for his "someone" i think. i think i am seriously a dumb ass. i'm not trying to blame you or what, but i'm sure without him, i won't like studies and being mature at all. i'm glad that i could nearly spend my high school life with you. PS: i could say i m still care about what you think about me. i know i m stupid, but i don't know why. maybe i used to it.

next, it'll be another stories with a guy. he's a cute guy that i had meet. there's some sweet memories that happen between me and him. and we nearly together. but somehow he keep giving some reason. so sometimes in my mind, i just wanna to say that, if you don't love someone, please don't give he/she a hope. you'll hurt him/her badly. that's exactly what i feel when he told me all those reasons. owh! there's one time you text me asked m i angry you, and i told you "NOPE" right? now, it's the time for me to be honest with ya. actually, i am a bit mad about you but what i can do, i can just to accept it. at that moment my heart was like *OUCH* , it's hurt. since that time, i didn't really trust "love". it's a hard game for me, and i think i can't stand with it. sorry guy. and the card that you made for me, it's like a important in my life. but i really don't know for you what does it means la. but i hope you appreciate it. PS: tak care, atleast you're still important for me and we have the chance to be together and the timing is incorrect, so we miss it . maybe you'll just forget me one day, but i won't just forget you easily.

3rd, don't care what previous thing had happen. what i can say now is i got my boy. FINALLY! that's what i keep hear from other to me and also him. do you guys tried to get someone for 700plus days? seldom happen right. yea! my boy is the one there for me. in my memories, we always having argument, misunderstanding, or even sometimes i hate him. don't care what ever thing i did to him, he didn't even try to leave me alone. i even angry with without reason, he'll still be the one who try to cheer me up. there's seiously a long stories between me and my boy. sometimes i really feel guilty that what i had did to you, and even the ways i treat you now. for you guys, if one day your girlfriend treat you so, what will you going to do to her? owh! one more thing. i rejected him for thousand times, he still care and take care me lots. hmm! i'll try to post more about my boy. actually there's a video that he did for me, that's all our stories inside the video. heart. PS: thanks babe! love ya lots

besides all these relationship problem, there's problems happen in my friendship too. i can't explain what had happen. but i have words for them. please wait for it patiently

A NEW STARTING

i thought my blog is dead

but who knows? today i going to start blogging again

my blog is dead for around half year

and i didn't really go and update it

and now, i going to starts my stories here again

i just finished reading my previous post,

and suddenly the previous feeling comes back to me

i remember what had happen during all these year

how i fall for a guy, how i miss a guy, how crazy m i for a guy?

and now i could say

EVERYTHING IS PAST

now, i got my new life.

i going to start my stories one by one soon